I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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