have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So here I am, sexting at work.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
