Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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