That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
