It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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