I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
