How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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