My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
