dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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