Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
