I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
