My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
