So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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