Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
