So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
