I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
