Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
