4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
