it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm at about main and main street
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
