i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
