dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
