I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
