Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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