I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
