Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
