how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
