Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
