Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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