love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
