pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
