i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
