Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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