im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
