I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
