Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
