my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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