If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
is that a dick in a sweater?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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