He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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