im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
