Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
