Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
