Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
