I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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