I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
