i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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