If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
