and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So apparently I’m into choking now
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