Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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