If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
