I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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